


Homecoming

by thealphagate_archivist



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-03-30
Updated: 2006-03-30
Packaged: 2019-02-02 18:24:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12731874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thealphagate_archivist/pseuds/thealphagate_archivist
Summary: Cassandra is the victim of an ancient Tau'ri ritual.  Vetting the boyfriend.





	Homecoming

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the archivists: this story was originally archived at [The Alpha Gate](https://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Alpha_Gate), a Stargate SG-1 archive, which began migration to the AO3 in 2017 when its hosting software, eFiction, was no longer receiving support. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2017. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are this creator and it hasn't transferred to your AO3 account, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Alpha Gate collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/thealphagate).

Crickets chirped in the cool night; a breeze bellied out the curtains in the bedroom window, bringing the scent of wood smoke and winter. A harvest moon hung giant orange in the sky over Colorado Springs. Anticipation hung in the bedroom, as bright as the moon, and its source was one Cassandra Frasier. For the past week, she had been a blur of preparation for this one night; the Homecoming dance. 

Before the dance, however, a delicate matter had to be addressed. Five years of living on Earth had taught Cass something about relating to her adoptive family. Most of the time, you could approach Janet about whatever was bothering you. Sometimes, though, the roundabout approach was best. Some things had to be eased into.

"Mom," Cassandra began, "you know I love you, right?"

Janet zipped up the back of the blue satin dress Sam had helped her pick out the weekend before. "I love you too, sweetie. Why do you ask?" She pulled Cass' hair from the dress and fluffed it out, the brown and gold tresses glinting in the lamplight.

"And you know I love Sam and the Uncles, right?" 'The Uncles' was how she had come to refer to the male members of SG-1, en masse. Cass turned to face her adoptive mother, a pained expression on her face.

"Of course, dear. When is your friend picking you up?"

"Seven. And we'll be back no later than eleven..."

"Ten."

"Mo-o-m!" After only five years on Earth, Cass had perfected the much-affronted teenage girl whine. Remembering, however, that her mother was perfectly capable of staring down hairy aliens, two-star generals, and Uncle Jack in full tiff, she gave in quickly before the curfew could be reduced to a humiliating nine PM.

"So, getting back to the whole I love you and Sam and the Uncles thing..." Janet prompted. She sat Cass down at the vanity mirror and began brushing out her long hair. 

Cass spoke to their reflections. "Do they have to be here when Keith picks me up?" Her voice was plaintive, her face the picture of pained innocence.

Chuckling, Janet began twisting the girl's hair into a French braid. "Would you believe me if I told you it was an Earth rule?"

"I grew out of that whole 'Earth rule' thing shortly after Uncle Jack told me that eating hot dogs with katsup was an 'Earth rule'. Then I saw Uncle Daniel pour mayo all over his at that picnic. I was so embarrassed when I called him on it."

"I remember," Janet said with a grin. "He apologized, and fed it to the neighbor's dog. You were both so serious about the whole thing, and the Colonel couldn't keep a straight face. Not that he ever can."

Waving an impatient hand, Cass said, "Back to the question at hand. Do you have any idea how very, very wishing to sink into the floor I'll be when Keith gets here? 'Cause, you know what they're going to do! Uncle Daniel will go all 'I have more PhD's than anyone in the world' on him; Uncle Jack will go all 'Hi, I used to be in the Special Forces and could kill you with a breath mint'; and Uncle Teal'c will growl! Then Sam-mum will start in on him. I'll be lucky not to be totally laughed off of school property tomorrow! Most girls only have a father to contend with. I have three grumpy, buff uncles, and two butt-kicking moms! It's not normal! Stop laughing!" Cass glared at her mother's reflection, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Janet waved breathlessly, trying to contain herself before the troops in the living room were drawn down the hall by the disturbance. She collapsed on Cass' bed, dislodging the flowered comforter and sending the collection of stuffed bears tumbling off of their pillow mountain. Taking a deep breath, she said, "I was just picturing Teal'c. He does have a mean growl at times." Her dark eyes sparkled, and the laughter threatened to emerge again, but she tamped it down with the ruthlessness of a short woman in a very tall world.

"It's not funny. He'll be here any minute." Cass glared at her mother, but couldn't stop the smile twitching at her lip. "Ok, it's a little funny. But still!"

And then the crisis was upon them. Crunching in the gravel driveway, a late model Ford pulled in and parked. A door creaked open, slammed shut with the sound that only Detroit sheet metal could impart. "Sounds like quite a car, anyway."

"He must be in his brother's Mustang." The women listened together as the footsteps came up the walk, then the doorbell rang loudly, making them both jump. The moment had arrived and nothing was settled. Cursing inwardly, Cassandra sprang to her feet. Speed was her only hope now. 

"Too late. Gotta run. Bye." Cass gave her mother a quick peck on the cheek and raced for the door.

* * *

Through the open bedroom door, Janet tracked her whirlwind daughter's progress toward the front door and the dubious safety of the porch. 

That stammer must be Keith, she reflected. Shuffling of coats and the door being wrenched open forcefully. 

Cass: "Hi Keith, bye everyone."

Daniel: "Aren't you going to introduce...."

Cass: "No. We're late. Bye."

Jack: "Wait a sec..."

Cass: "Love you, Uncle Jack. We'll be back by eleven."

Sam: "Ten!"

Teal'c: "Indeed. Dr. Frasier was most insistent."

Cass: "Okay, okay. Come on, Keith." And the door was slammed shut with a panicked finality.

Through the open window, Janet heard the young man ask, in a very bewildered voice, "Which one was your dad?" and heard Cass answer, "Those were my crazy uncles. You're lucky I rescued you in time. Let's get out of here before they realize that little fact and come after us with automatic weapons." 

"You're kidding, right?" 

"I only wish I was."

If Keith survived the night, he might be a keeper. Still needed a thorough vetting, though. Have to remember to retain 'the Uncles' and Sam for the Prom, Janet mused, and went out to ask if anyone wanted coffee.


End file.
